The adventure of the beer
by quietlyfangirlinginthecorner
Summary: Germany and Prussia were having a nice, normal day at home until a mad Danish man stole their last beer, after that they had to travel around Europe to retrieve it...not an easy feat with the amount of times it has changed hands. Contains traces of Spamano, Turkraine and KoreaxBelarus, but it's easily ignored.


**I don't own Hetalia, thanks for reading this ^_^ and it's the first time I've written about Prussia and Germany for a prolonged period of time and it's almost entirely based around a very _very _strange conversation I had with a friend over Facebook.**

**Warning, geographically questionable, imagine Europe is a lot smaller than it actually is.**

Prussia was bored, very very _very _bored. He'd been left on his own in the living room for what felt like hours watching some boring documentary that Germany had been watching, he would have changed the channel long ago but he couldn't find the remote.

After ages had gone by Germany re-entered the room, Prussia tackled him into a hug, "West!, where were you!" he whined he'd been so bored it was good to see another living human being..

"I went to get a beer, OUCH!, Gilbert!" Germany complained, managing to free himself from the bored-brother-hug-of-awesome.

"I thought you'd gone forever!" Prussia grinned, honestly he was behaving like this because he'd been shut up in the house for a week because all of his friends were being un-awesome and had work to do...when the hell did France and Spain turn into old men!.

"I only went to get a beer" Germany repeated, sitting down on the sofa

"Wait...beer?...did you get me one?" Prussia asked, slumping into an armchair and putting his feet up on the coffee table. (Germany twitched but had long since stopped telling his brother not to put his feet on the table)

"No, I didn't know you wanted one" Germany stated, placing his beer on the table and looking around for a bottle opener.

"I don't _want _one, I _need _one!" Prussia commented, giving his younger brother a pleading look.

Germany frowned slightly "This was the last one".

There was silence for a few moments as the pair glared at one another each fully prepared to fight the other if it meant keeping the beer.

Suddenly the front door flew open slamming against the inner wall, Denmark sprinted through the house like his life depended on it, pausing only to snatch the bottle from the table before leaving through the back door, cackling wildly.

Prussia and Germany stared at the spot on the table where just moments ago the last bottle of their favorite beverage had been, slowly they slid off of their respective seats in despair. Seconds later Norway thundered into the house his usually immaculate hair was in a mess from running for who knows how long, "Where did the idiot go?" he growled, the bereaved brothers automatically assumed he was talking about Denmark, as would anyone else who knew Norway, shakily Prussia composed himself just enough to point in the direction the Dane had ran.

Norway nodded and shot off to find Denmark.

Prussia wiped his nose on his sleeve "No, no, Bruder, get off of the floor we will get the beer back!" he said defiantly, feeling a little better although with fury now coursing through his veins.

Germany knelt upright "But how?".

* * *

Deciding to chase after Denmark and Norway probably wasn't the best idea they'd ever had, it certainly wasn't for Germany.

They'd managed to follow them to Finland, but they had yet to find the pair, and it was getting impractical to look for them from the car because the streets were narrowing.

"Hey, Ludwig, pull over, I think I know how to find them!" Prussia exclaimed, flailing his arms in triumph, Germany sighed and parked the car.

Prussia immediately jumped out and tackled a slight, pale haired boy who was stood by a low wall.

"Bruder!," Germany yelled "What do you think you are doing!"

Prussia span around, stroking the hair of the clearly panicking boy like a bond villain's cat.

"Do you know what this is?" Prussia grinned, the boy let out an indistinct but irate noise.

Germany pinched the bridge of his nose "No, I don't know"

Prussia continued to stroke his hair "Prussia, let go" warned the boy, needless to say Prussia ignored him.

"This is Norway's little brother," Prussia smirked "Iceland, using this, we can track him"

Germany groaned, Iceland kicked Prussia in the shin "What, do you think I'm psychic, don't I get enough weird shit at home?" he snarled.

"I don't think _you _are, I think _Norway _is" Prussia retorted.

"Let him go" growled a voice.

"See, what did I tell you" Prussia crowed, but it wasn't Norway, instead it was a surprisingly grumpy looking Finland along with Sweden.

"Emil!" Finland scolded "Do you think Tore will be pleased to see you here, and weren't you meant to be baby sitting Peter for us?"

Iceland shrugged as best he could in the position he was in "Latvia volunteered to take care of him"

Finland looked furious for a few moments before shooting an uncharacteristic glare at Prussia

"I told you to let him go!" he snapped.

Prussia let Iceland go, "The hell is wrong with you?"

"Str'ss" Sweden answered.

Finland gave Sweden a dirty look "I am not stressed, I've just got a lot to do at the moment and my trusted babysitter decided to recruit someone else"

Sweden put his hands up defensively "I kn'w, 'm j'st w'rr'd".

"What are you two doing here anyway?" Finland asked, clearly glad of the change of subject.

"They're here to do some weird experiment to see if Tore's psychic" Iceland retorted

Finland and Sweden frowned.

"No, we're looking for Denmark and Norway because Denmark stole our last beer" Germany explained

"Who the fuck is Tore?" Prussia asked.

"That would be me" stated a calm voice, this one belonging to the actual Norway.

Norway's face was blank and he had Denmark by the ear, he was stooped over quite a lot in order to be at a comfortable height for Norway's arm.

"Mathias we need to-" Germany didn't get to finish his sentence because Prussia chose that moment to jump in.

"Where's our beer!" Prussia yelled

"beer?" Denmark asked innocently.

"Yes, beer, the kind you stole from us," Prussia growled before turning to Germany "Come on, back me up!"

"Beer? What is this beer you talk of-OW, Tore, why would you do that!" Denmark yelled, rubbing the spot on his leg which Norway had chosen to cook.

"In public it's Norway" Norway retorted

"Not in front of the humans it's not" Denmark replied

"In front of nations it is"

Germany frowned "Actually, according to policy we should be using human names around any humans which are not our bosses"

Norway gave him a furious look.

"Beer, now" Prussia demanded.

Norway let go of Denmark's ear, Denmark straightened up, clicking his back as he did before checking his pockets and putting the beer on a low wall.

Prussia grinned and Germany managed a smile "Finally, beer"

and then in a flash of blonde hair and a white scarf the beer was gone again.

"RUSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the pair yelled, forgetting the human name policy

* * *

Immediately Germany sprang into action, he had been training all his life...not necessarily for a situation like the one in which he currently found himself, but for an occasion in which running would be useful which just so happened to be the situation he was in.

One thing he hadn't factored in was that Russia was actually a pretty good runner, he'd have to be to loose Germany so quickly with only the shortest of head starts.

Seriously, he must have been running faster than Italy when his Pasta was threatened!.

Germany looked around, he now had absolutely no idea where he was, and Prussia was no where to be seen.

He heard a motor bike somewhere behind him. "Bruder, get in!"

Germany turned around to see Prussia in a motorcycle with a side car.

"Where did you get that?" he asked suspiciously

"A girl gave it to me" Prussia replied bluntly

"A girl just gave you a Motorbike?" Germany challenged as he clambered into the sidecar

"What can I say, I'm charismatic" Prussia retorted

"Who does it really belong to"

"...Switzerland" Prussia pouted

there was a gun shot

"ARE YOU INSANE!" Germany roared, but it was too late and Prussia had already started speeding off into the distance.

"I'm not insane, I explained what was happening and Liechtenstein gave it to me, they were only looking for new picnic spots anyway"

The brothers sped through the city and out into the country side, Germany lost count of how many villages they passed through, eventually they ended up in yet another place that neither of them recognized.

"Why did you stop?" Germany asked from his cramped position in the side car.

"Belarus, she'll know where Russia is, she _always _knows where Russia is" Prussia grinned before swaggering over to the girl who was casually stood in a park next to a building.

"Hey Belarus"

"Leave me alone" she replied calmly with the kind of voice that people use when they are used to their warnings being heeded...such people have clearly not spent an awful lot of time with Prussia.

"You seen Russia?" Prussia asked casually, leaning against the wall she was stood next to.

"Of course I have" she said curtly, folding her arms.

"Have you seen him recently?" Prussia replied, frustrated at the answer

"Yes"

"Are you going to tell me where?"

"Probably not"

"Why?"

"Because I'm busy" she retorted, clearly irritated, anyone else would have ran away.

"Busy following Russia" he asked innocently.

"That isn't all I do!" She snapped, at which point Korea arrived,

"Hey, when you invited me over, following your brother wasn't exactly what I had in mind" he stated, although not looking at all bothered by it, instead he had two ice creams.

"Isn't all you do my ass!" Prussia spluttered, by which point Germany had managed to clamber out of the ridiculously undersized side car.

Belarus glared at Prussia before elbowing Korea in the ribs "It's only the same as you asking me over to your house last month and spending the entire time looking at China's fan page, which you made!"

"I didn't make that one, I only run three tumblr blogs about him!, I was looking at the one Russia made!" Korea replied indignantly, the pair would have continued arguing were it not for Germany's intervention.

"Natalia, Yong Soo, Ivan came past here and he had some beer belonging to us, do you know where it is?"

"How are you remembering everyone's names!" Prussia exclaimed

"Ivan doesn't have the beer anymore, Latvia does" Belarus replied, calming rapidly at the mention of her brother's name.

The brothers thanked Belarus (well, Germany did) before setting off in the general direction that Belarus had nodded towards when questioned about Latvia's whereabouts.

* * *

Stopping for fuel only once along the way, Prussia and Germany made their way towards Latvia, the country not the personification.

Prussia vaguely remembered the way to Latvia's house from the one and only time he had been asked to look after the younger nations while the older ones had a party which Prussia, France and Spain had been banned from after several previous incidents.

"Your sure he'll be here?" Germany asked from the cramped side car

"If he's not then where the hell else do you think we have to look?" Prussia replied.

"honestly, I think I should drive instead of being in Liechtenstein's side car" Germany complained, something which he didn't do often but after hours of being stuck in a very small side car despite being a very tall man.

"Liechtenstein was driving," Prussia replied "the bike is hers the side car is Switzerland's"

"Oh".

Prussia parked the motorbike outside of Latvia's house, Germany politely knocked on the door before being shoved out of the way by Prussia who immediately began hammering on the door.

The door was opened by Latvia who looked a little alarmed to see the brothers.

"Hello, what are you doing here?" asked the boy nervously,

"You have our beer" Prussia announced, Latvia looked as though he was about to reply when there was a series of loud crashes from within the house.

Latvia ran back into the house, Prussia shrugged and followed him in, Germany thought it would be more polite to wait outside, but then again, desperate times called for desperate measures.

Germany could hear Latvia before he saw him.

"I don't care if Japan made you a new and improved suit, Peter, you don't let off the rocket fist in someone's house!"

"I didn't mean to" sulked a very obviously English accented voice.

Germany entered the living room to see that any ornaments or pictures that Latvia had previously had on walls and shelves were all over the floor with Sealand stood in the middle dressed as a robot and trying not to look guilty.

"Pick this up" Latvia trilled, he was clearly angry, but also didn't seem to hold enough authority for Sealand to actually listen to.

"Um, Latvia, the beer" Prussia prompted

"Sealand took it and then England came and confiscated it, he's on his way to visit Ukraine, now please leave so I can clean up!" Latvia cried, trying desperately not to get too angry.

* * *

The journey to Ukraine was a long one, Germany actually fell asleep in the side car despite the interruption to his sleep routine which would probably take weeks to get back to normal.

He woke up to Prussia shaking his shoulder and hissing "West, if you don't wake up the bed monsters will get you" which for some reason stirred memories of a childhood he didn't quite remember.

Eventually Germany woke up properly...with some very strange, very painful neck cramps from his stay in the side car.

Across the road he could see a bright cafe, out side of which sat Ukraine and England who were drinking tea, Germany realised that they had probably missed lunch by a long time.

"Awake now are we, sleeping Beauty...or Sleeping Bielschmidt, or Ludwig beauty...no, all those sound too girly, you have a girly name Bruder" Prussia announced

Germany refused to respond to the strange sentence his older brother had just spouted in favour of exiting the side car and mentally vowing to drive the motorbike so that Prussia could have a spell in the uselessly tiny thing. As his back and shoulders cracked loudly in at least five places by the sounds of things, but in ast least nine by the feeling.

Prussia had already darted over to England and Ukraine whilst Germany wondered how often a healthy nation's bones should click in one morning.

"Hey, England, the beer you took from Sealand was ours, give it back" Prussia accused.

England looked guilty for a moment "I don't have it anymore"

Prussia gave him a murderous glare, "What?" he hissed

"On my way here I went to get some flowers for Ukraine to thank her for letting me stay at her house for a few days during a conference my boss and I are attending, but the florist was closed, so I gave the beer to Ukraine here"

Germany groaned loudly "Does no one follow the human name policy?"

The rest of the group ignored him. "Well then, Ukraine, give me the beer"

"I gave it to Turkey, he was passing here and he has the spare key to my house so he was going to put it in my house for me," she said, her eyes starting to tear up because she was afraid of upsetting the other two nations "Give me a few moments and we can get it"

So that Ukraine and England could finish their tea, Germany and Prussia decided to have a late lunch, which they demolished in no time and thanks to this fact and the lack of water up until that point neither nation even remembered what they had ordered.

At which point Turkey came running over to them "Katyusha, I am very sorry, but I was taking the beer back to your house when Greece attacked me, it was a surprise attack if it wasn't then of course I could have fought him off-" Turkey panted, having ran all the way there

"Of course you could," Ukraine smiled genuinely "Are you alright?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle, but he took your beer"

Both Germany and Prussia dropped their cutlery and stood up "What!?" they exclaimed

Turkey looked over to them "Greece took Ukraine's beer"

Germany slammed the money for his and Prussia's meal down on the table before running off towards the motor bike, shoving Prussia out of the way because he was _never _getting in the side car again.

* * *

Germany drove like a demon, with Prussia singing as many songs about alcohol that he knew at the top of his lungs.

They made good time, arriving in Greece soon afterwards, Germany had visited Greece recently and as a consequence he remembered where his house was.

The pair hammered on the door, too tired to be polite.

Greece took a long time to get to the door, and when he eventually got there he looked very tired and had two cats in his arms

"Good morning?" he asked, stifling a yawn

"It's the afternoon!, and the beer you took from Turkey was ours, can we have it back?" Prussia asked

Greece shrugged "I gave it to Japan, it's up to him"

the pair looked at him expectantly, "What?" he asked

"Can you call him for us" Prussia asked hopefully.

Greece nodded before calling into the house "Kiku, Japan, Germany and Prussia are here to see you"

Japan walked swiftly to the door and smiled at the group "Hello, can I help you?"

"The beer Greece gave you was ours, can we have it back?" Asked Prussia, almost crying from frustration.

Japan looked awkward for a second "o, of course you can, I will get it from my car"

Germany, Prussia and Greece followed the island nation to his car, Japan looked almost shocked to see Greece with them "Um, Greece...I think one of your cats is getting out again"

Greece looked alarmed before running back to the house, Japan looked relieved.

"I don't have your beer anymore, I didn't want to upset Greece but I don't like that type of beer, I gave it to Romano" he murmured to try to make sure that Greece didn't hear despite being inside the house.

"Romano? But he hates German things, why would he want our beer?" Germany stated worriedly.

Japan thought for a moment brief moment before widening his eyes "You have to worry, I think he said something about cleaning out Italy's room and having a bonfire, I think he means to burn your beer"

Japan didn't need to say anymore, Prussia and Germany were back on the bike within moments with only the shortest of arguments over who had to sit in the side car.

* * *

Getting to Romano's house had to have been by far the easiest house to visit of all of the ones that Prussia and Germany had to navigate to that day, mostly because Romano and Italy had been living together until very recently when the leaks in Italy's roof had been fixed meaning that he could go back to living in his own house.

They knocked on the door "Romano?" they called, knocking on the door with far more force than most doors in the world were built to withstand.

"I'm not letting you bastards in!" Romano yelled, opening a window upstairs to do a number of very rude hand gestures.

"Romano, you have our beer" Germany called

"What the hell would I want with your shitty German beer?" Romano shrieked

"Japan gave it to you, it's ours"

"The hell it is, You're trying to rob me, I'm calling the police!" Romano yelled

"That's it, I'm breaking down the door" Prussia hissed to Germany.

Prussia took a run up and after a few tries actually managed to knock the door off it's hinges.

Romano was stood in the hall way with his arms folded and a scowl on his face "You Bastards have 'till the count of three to get the hell out of my house!"

"Give us the beer and we'll leave" Prussia growled, Romano seemed to weigh up the options.

"Fine, but I still don't believe it's yours," Romano spat "And you are paying to fix the damn door"

Romano led the brothers to the fridge, he wrenched it open and made a strangled noise

"What is it?" Germany asked

"That Bastard!" Romano hissed, scrunching up a note and tossing it over his shoulder.

Prussia caught it and opened it "Hola Lovi, you weren't here when I came to visit earlier, I took the beer from your fridge, I need to pay France back for something, I will replace it with wine later, unless you really want beer. Love from Antonio XXX and some pictures of tomatoes" Prussia read aloud.

"You Bastard, that's private!" Romano shrieked, pushing Germany and Prussia towards the door

"nothing is private when it concerns our beer!" Prussia cackled as Romano attempted to launch him out of the door.

* * *

It was night by the time they reached France,they had decided to leave visiting Spain seeing as it seemed he planned on giving France the beer. Neither were hopeful of their chances of seeing their beer ever again.

They knocked quietly on the door, having agreed that this would be the last house they would visit before heading home.

"Bonjour!, how are you two this fine-what's wrong with you two?" France cooed

"Do you have beer from Spain, it's ours" Prussia asked, not even bothering to get his hopes up.

"No, I gave it to Italy, he says he's developed a taste for it." France said worriedly, not having seen Prussia this upset since he worked out that Hungary was a girl.

The Germanic nations bowed their heads, thanked France for his time and started their drive home in silence.

* * *

Germany and Prussia slunk through the front door, they were tired and couldn't even be bothered to cook an unbelievably late dinner and Germany's sleep routine was well and truly ruined.

They slouched towards the living room to find Italy fast asleep on the sofa, the tattered bottle of beer unopened on the coffee table.

Italy stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes "You're back, I heard about the beer and brought it back to you" he smiled sleepily.

Germany opened the bottle before staring from the warm bottle of beer to his older brother.

"So who gets it?" Germany asked

"I'm the oldest" Prussia retorted

"I'm the most responsible" Germany snarled

"It was my choice to find the beer"

"I had to ride in the side car most of the way"

"I raised you"

"Ve, That's enough!" Italy exclaimed before snatching the bottle and drinking the lot in front of the horrified Brothers.

"Why would you do that!" they yelled in unison, the appalled looks on Germany and Prussia's faces started Italy off laughing.

"Ve, it's not the only beer in the house," Italy chuckled "I bought some on the way over"


End file.
